The Moon

When I was very little, and I mean maybe 5 or 6 years old, I saw my parents reading their own books while sitting near each other in the living room. For some reason I was in awe, to me it seemed so special that something so personal could be enjoyed with someone by your side, without the need to talk. To be immersed in another world, while still in each other’s. 

I remember imagining that my future husband and I would do the same thing one day. That we would both be reading books about outer space, specifically ideas on what the moon was made of, and every now and then would turn to discuss with each other, well, what did we each believe the moon was made of? I didn’t understand science yet, or love. My parents marriage didn’t work out, but they always co-parented me with grace. 

20 years later I met someone special and I asked him to read a book that I had just read, so that we could discuss it afterwards. He did, as if it was the easiest thing in the world, to just read a novel that a girl you’d been dating for a month asked you to read. 

But it was still a few more months before we’d be lying in our resort room in Mexico, me, sunburnt to an absolute crisp, him sick. We still didn’t know each other extremely well and yet this was our grand idea, to travel somewhere together. We lay in the air conditioned room, me reading my book and him reading his. Despite any stress, I’ve never felt more content, losing myself in another place while knowing how much I wanted to be in this one. I remember thinking to myself, he’s the one. If he isn’t, then nothing I know makes any sense. It’s been a year since then and I still think the same…even though we don’t read books about the moon, maybe we will together, some day. 

“I just want to be home in my sweatpants.”

So, you’re in a relationship with an introvert? Most people generally fall either to the introverted or extroverted side, and even then, each individuals needs are different in a relationship. But here are 5 things you likely would have to understand if your partner falls to the former: 

1) I hate being the centre of attention, but I love having the attention of one person. Introverts aren’t void of the desire for human connection, in fact we often crave it deeply, just in different ways than an extrovert might. After a long day at work, sometimes I’ve had next to no meaningful contact with someone else and all I want is for someone to be there to listen or to just simply be with me as I relax. Introverts still communicate their feelings with their partners thoroughly, and they need you to do the same.

2) I will go to all your family and friend functions. With the exception here and there or if I genuinely feel sick, I’ll always be there for you if you ask me to. As an introvert we are in tune with our relationships and what they need, because we are so sensitive to what it is we need. But you will often find me kneeling on the floor petting the cat, scratching the dogs belly, or hovering around the charcuterie board.

3) You’ll probably become good friends with my friends as time goes on because it will always be the same few of them. Always. So you’re going to have to find a bond with them and it’s one of the best feelings for me to know that you do. It’s hard for introverts to make quick meaningful friendships so when we have a deep connection we hang onto them with all we’ve got. This isn’t to say we’d hang onto a toxic friendship necessarily, but often we are open to seeing the good sides of people and working on the friendship because of that.

4) I do need my alone time, within reason, and you shouldn’t take offence to this. It’s because I want to give our relationship my full attention afterwards. For example, even if we are on vacation, I’ll probably want to go and read my book. If I get exasperated in large social situations such as concerts or bars it’s not because I dislike people, it’s because the stimulation is overwhelming and I am there because I want to experience the event and am willing to put up with the large mass of people. It’s not always easy despite my best efforts.

5) You’ll get the privilege of seeing who I truly am. It’s something that’s saved for certain people and it’s a sign of trust. If it’s not flattering to have someone open up to you with no inhibitions, I don’t know what is. It’s like having a permanent, awesome secret.

“I am rarely bored alone; I am often bored in groups and crowds.”

– Laurie Helgoe, Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength

What’s some other things you think people dating introverts should be aware of? And if you’re an extrovert, what do people dating you need to know?

Thanks for reading 🙂

Happy New Year! 

Before I started this blog, because I’ve wanted to start a blog for a long time, I really thought hard about what I wanted it to be about. Writing is my therapy, and I wanted to write to release but I felt like I was supposed to have some kind of identity. Did I want to be the person who wrote only about hiking and adventuring? Or the person who wrote nothing but poetry? It turns out that I’m neither. I’m a smorgasbord of things and after almost 26 years I’m fine with that. Life isn’t black or white, it’s not definitive and there are no promises. It’s grey, it’s in the middle, it’s sometimes messy, but sometimes clean. It’s sometimes beautiful and sometimes horrible. There are just as many unanswered questions as there are answered ones. I’ve always needed to need to know things for sure and thats caused me great anxiety. But I sit here now wearing comfy grey sweatpants and cuddling my grey cat (she’s the reason I buy so much grey now) and it really occurred to me that my greatest journey, this year at least, has just been accepting the unknown grey area and enjoying the ride. It’s been a crazy year of ups and downs and I’m ready to not only say goodbye to it but to build on it. Life is too short for anything other than loving the people and moments you’ve been given.

This year I was in love, climbed mountains and partied with friends. I travelled to Mexico and Vancouver, I focused on my career and it paid off when my boss gave me a raise at the end and told me how far I’ve come. There was some challenges to tackle. Big personal challenges that I’d rather not get into but the point is that they are in past tense and I am so thankful to walk into the new year with my health and all my friends and family alive and well.

If you’re reading this or following me, thanks from the bottom of my heart and I promise to not let you down with my posts next year!

Prairie Mountain

December 2016 – Prairie Mountain in Kananaskis Area, AB

Directions: 22 km west of Bragg Creek, you can turn off highway 66 at the Elbow Falls Parking lot. Park at the winter closure gates. The trail is just past the winter closure gates and heads straight up (North) from the highway. The trail follows to a false summit, and eventually the real summit with a Canadian flag stuck in a pile of rocks as a cairn.

Time: Approximately 3.5-4 hours total, ~6 km total

Elevation: 2,214 m

After two days in Strathmore with J’s family and a stop at Cross Iron Mills outside of Calgary to check out the deals, we headed to Banff to meet friends. Every time I drive to the mountains I feel so grateful to live so close to such beauty! I’ve been to other countries, even the Swiss Alps and the Andes in South America, and still am blown away by how massive and lovely the Rocky’s are. We got to our hotel, which we just picked randomly as it was one of the only ones available, and began moving furniture all over the place to try to fit my massive queen air mattress on the small floor space. Of course, there was a hole – again – as happens with all my air mattress’s. After finding duct tape it appeared to hold in air, and we squished it between the furniture – (“this is the most complicated day of my life” – Jordy) – then the others arrived. It was suchh a short trip, 😦 but we had a nice dinner at an Italian placed called Picini’s and then went in the hot tub at the hotel. Sarah and I as usual snuck our wine in and stayed later than was allowed and then acted completely innocent when the hotel receptionist told us what was up.

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This Is The Way Time Works

Always forwards and never backwards.

It works so that 8 years ago I saw a girl get off the bus and almost didn’t make any effort to be her friend until I did.

It works so that she became my best friend and I cried on her shoulder when my very first boyfriend and I didn’t work out (5 months). I had my first taste of what I thought love was but learned at least that it could lead to a lot of pain.

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Hiking Recap 2016

May 2016 – Ha Ling Peak, near Canmore, AB

Directions: From Canmore, follow the signs to the Nordic Centre on Spray Lakes Road, go past the Nordic Centre and into Kananaskis Country for 5 km. Park at the Goat Creek Day Use Area. Cross the road, and walk up the gravel road, and cross a bridge over a channel. The trailhead is marked by a large rock with a plaque at the tree line.

Time: Approximately 3-4 hours total, ~8 km total

Elevation: 2,407 m

We did this in May, thankfully we all knew what we were in for as far as the cold goes, we packed in layers and set up the trudge from the parking lot for the first hour or so through the endless switchbacks in the tree cover. You gain a lot of elevation pretty quickly so it helps to be in the best shape possible. We passed a guy with a baby on his back who cheerfully told us he ran up and down in just over an hour – now we think he was bluffing, because running through snow is hard. After the treeline, the snow was turning into this dirty sludge by the early afternoon. People who were coming down were sliding down uncontrollably and it was pretty messy, so others started veering off the trail and up through the untouched snow on the side of the mountain for the last bit. Now I’m not sure if this added time or not, as it was a pretty straight plow to the summit but the snow was fairly thick off trail. I remember thinking that the summit never ever seemed to get any closer and it really tested my endurance. I was so thankful for my hiking poles! The trail was really popular this day, and always is. People like to time their ascents (I’d assume not with a baby on their back?!) and dogs don’t have too much trouble. Once you get to the top you do lightly scramble over some rocks using your hands before the view hits you. The view is absolutely incredible – Canmore is to the North and you can see as far as the eye can see in all directions including almost the whole trail you just climbed. It’s windy up there but you truly feel like you’re on top of the world. This is why it’s such an alluring hike. We took a ton of photos up there, lounging on the rocks and sharing snacks with the marmots until the adrenaline calmed down. We took a few tequila shots before slipping and sliding our way down, my hand scraped more than once. My absolute favourite moment was when descending (the guys went ahead, just like on the way up they pranced like deers ahead of us (especially Jordan)), Sarah and I were finishing up the flask when she tipsily offers me her hand to help me down a rock. I tell her, “no, just focus on you getting down – ” at the exact moment my words catch in mid-air and I go falling on my butt. We pee ourselves laughing and Sarah ends up falling several more times from the combination of snow and tequila. “Nobody saw that!” So that was my favourite moment, besides being at the top and kissing the love of my life with that view. Want to know the backstory? A chinese man named Ha Ling in the 80s working as a cook in Canmore bet someone he could make it up to that peak and back in under 10 hours for 50 bucks – he made it back in 4 hours. Nobody believed him so he led a group up there to place a larger flag beside his original smaller one. They called it Chinaman’s Peak for years, eventually changing it to Ha Ling Peak.

Above: Ha Ling Peak as we drove away and a few big horned sheep visited us on the road. We ended the day with cold beer and pizza and then hot tubbed with wine in Canmore, heavennn

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8 Pointless Quotes I Hope We Leave Behind With 2016

1. “Millenials have it way too good.”

Yes, we do have many things made easier for us. But I’ll never forget comedian Adam Conover’s piece “Millenials Don’t Exist”:

“You can’t treat them as a monolith,” Conover said. “Almost any statement made about millennials as a group other than how diverse they are is going to be false by virtue of how diverse they are. Right? All they are is young.”

He points out that even though in many ways the world is steadily improving, there are always older people complaining about the younger generation, using Greek economist Hesiod’s complaint from nearly 2,800 years ago as an example: “They only care about frivolous things. When I was a boy, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly… impatient of restraint.” Basically, if it’s been invented or created after someone’s 30th birthday, to them it’s bound to ruin the balance of the world.

In its media usage, “Millennial” just seems to be a synonym for “elite educated white 20somethings from relatively affluent backgrounds.”

— Jamelle Bouie (@jbouie) March 19, 2016

I have a lot of respect for generations before me, so I’ll leave this one with the least amount of sass (prepare yourself).

2. “You’re too pretty to not have a boyfriend!”

Wait, what? By this absolutely flawless logic, I should exit the nearest door right now and bestow myself upon the nearest male specimen, for I have expressed interest in a boyfriend, and contain the prettiness to go and retrieve one immediately. …Or I could date around, or not date around, until I find someone who matches my view on the world, makes me laugh, and has generally the same life goals as me. It’s 2016, when are we going to stop defining someone’s worth by their “prettiness”?

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